The Reb:I think people expect too much from marriage today. They expect perfection. Every moment should be bliss. That's TV or movies. But that is not the human experience. Like Sarah says, twenty good minutes here, forty good minutes there, it adds up to something beautiful. The trick is when things aren't so great, you don't junk the whole thing. It's okay to have an argument. It's okay that the other one nudges you a little, bothers you a little. It's part of being close to someone. But the joy you get from that same closeness--when you watch your children, you wake up and smile at each other--that, as our tradition teaches us, is a blessing. People forget that.
Mitch:Why do they forget it?
The Reb:Because the word "commitment" has lost its meaning. I'm old enough to remember when it used to be a positive. A committed person was someone to be admired. He was loyal and steady. Now a commitment is something you avoid. You don't want to tie yourself down.
The Reb:It's the same with faith, by the way. We don't want to get stuck having to go to services all the time, or having to follow all the rules. We don't want to commit to God. We'll take Him when we need Him, or when things are going good. But real commitment? That requires staying power--in faith and in marriage.
Mitch:And if you don't commit?
The Reb:Your choice. But you miss what's on the other side.
